Friday, 17 February 2012

Dear Internet

My Dearest Internet,
If we are to continue seeing each other, I think we need to get a few things straight:

  • It is not me in the video and it is not that funny anyway.
  • I don't really care what somebody else has said about me in their blog, it's a free country.
  • None of my family are millionaires who visited Nigeria, so they couldn't have been in the plane crash and I cannot therefore, claim any inheritance.
  • I don't need a Russian wife thanks, I'm still trying to train my current non-Russian one.
  • There is a perfectly good pharmacy in my home town, so I don't need to buy any medication from your Canadian one.
  • I am quite happy with my all my bits and pieces thanks.
  • My watch is working well and does not need replacing yet.
  • I don't need a cheaper copy of Windows or Photoshop.
  • My computer already has all the viruses, spyware, trojans, adware and worms that I could ever find useful, so I don't need anymore installing.
If you are happy with these points, then I am happy to continue our long-lasting relationship.

Yours faithfully,

A User.